Communication is the foundation of every great leadership team. Yet, many small business leadership teams feel frustrated when improving their communication.
They want to get better—especially at engaging in healthy ideological conflict—but don’t know where to start. Even when individual leaders improve, scaling these skills across an entire leadership team, managers, and employees can feel overwhelming. Teams often fall back into unproductive habits without a shared framework or process, leaving issues unresolved and collaboration strained.
At The Beacon Partners, we’ve helped dozens of companies—and, by extension, hundreds of employees—transform their communication through the Constructive Communication Framework.
This article is the first of two complementary articles that lay out the high-level framework of Constructive Communication. In this first article, we’ll introduce the foundational concepts of effective communication, such as recognizing communication styles, separating facts from opinions, and understanding our internal stories. In the second article, we’ll build on these foundations with actionable steps for identifying needs, making requests, and practicing empathy in real-world scenarios.
By the end of these articles, you’ll understand the general framework for improving team communication and creating a foundation for trust and collaboration within your leadership team. Future resources and deeper dives into this framework will provide the tools and strategies needed to fully implement it.
The Case Study: The Late Lunch Meeting
You’ve scheduled a lunch meeting with a colleague and agreed to meet at 12:00 PM. It’s now 12:20, and they’ve just walked in.
You both sit down, exchange a quick greeting, and prepare to discuss an important project. While you’re ready to dive into business, part of you wonders whether the delay will affect the tone of the meeting—or if you should even mention it.
This simple, everyday scenario provides the perfect backdrop for exploring the Constructive Communication Framework. Throughout this article, we’ll revisit this situation to illustrate how each step of the framework can help you navigate similar moments with clarity, empathy, and confidence.
Step 1: The Four Communication Styles
How we communicate shapes how we navigate conflicts, resolve issues, and build relationships. The five primary communication styles—passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, manipulative, and assertive—provide a useful lens for understanding team dynamics.
Assertive communication is the ideal style for leadership teams. It balances clarity and respect, enabling individuals to express their thoughts and needs while considering others’ perspectives.
Imagine responding to the late lunch scenario using different communication styles:
- Passive: “It’s fine. No big deal.” (You avoid conflict but feel resentful.)
- Aggressive: “You’re always late! You clearly don’t care about my time.” (You attack, escalating the conflict.)
- Passive-Aggressive: “Wow, it must be nice to show up whenever you feel like it.” (You express frustration indirectly, creating tension.)
- Assertive: “I noticed you were 20 minutes late. I value our time together and would appreciate a heads-up if you’re running behind in the future.” (You address the issue clearly and respectfully.)
Assertive communication fosters mutual understanding, enabling productive conversations that strengthen trust.
Step 2: Leveraging the Predictive Index to Understand Communication Styles
Understanding your team members’ personalities can improve communication dynamics by helping everyone adapt their approach. Tools like The Predictive Index (PI) reveal dominant behavioral traits, helping leaders adjust their communication to reduce friction and increase collaboration.
Let’s explore four distinct PI profiles and how each might naturally respond to the late lunch scenario, along with what they might need to be mindful of when communicating outside of their dominant style:
1. The “Captain”
Natural Style: Assertive, Results-Driven, and Direct
Likely Response:
A Captain might address the delay immediately with something like:
“You’re 20 minutes late. We need to stay on schedule, so let’s dive in.”
What They Need to Be Mindful Of:
Captains can come across as too direct or task-focused, especially when emotions are involved. They should practice empathy by acknowledging the other person’s circumstances before diving into solutions.
2. The “Collaborator”
Natural Style: Relationship-Oriented, Empathetic, and Supportive
Likely Response:
A Collaborator might avoid mentioning the delay altogether, focusing on maintaining a positive atmosphere:
“I’m glad you made it! Let’s get started when you’re ready.”
What They Need to Be Mindful Of:
Collaborators might avoid confrontation to preserve harmony, which can lead to resentment if their needs remain unspoken. They should practice assertive communication by respectfully expressing their feelings while supporting the relationship.
3. The “Analyzer”
Natural Style: Detail-Oriented, Cautious, and Focused on Accuracy
Likely Response:
An Analyzer might point out the exact time and expect an explanation:
“It’s 12:20, and we agreed on noon. Was there something that delayed you?”
What They Need to Be Mindful Of:
Analyzers can be critical or overly precise, focusing on details instead of the broader context. They should practice active listening and flexibility, acknowledging circumstances beyond the other person’s control.
4. The “Persuader”
Natural Style: Energetic, Outgoing, and Results-Oriented
Likely Response:
A Persuader might address the delay in a lighthearted way:
“You’re late—but don’t worry, I already ordered drinks!”
What They Need to Be Mindful Of:
Persuaders can downplay important issues or use humor to deflect tension, which might prevent meaningful conversations. They should focus on direct communication when the situation requires addressing important topics.
Why This Matters
Understanding these profiles helps teams anticipate potential communication challenges and adjust their responses accordingly. By recognizing their own and their colleagues’ natural tendencies, team members can tailor their communication styles, reducing misunderstandings and fostering more productive conversations.
Step 3: Separating Observations from Evaluations
One major barrier to healthy communication is confusing observations (facts) with evaluations (judgments or assumptions). Observations are neutral and fact-based, while evaluations are subjective interpretations influenced by emotions, past experiences, or assumptions about intent.
Let’s return to the late lunch scenario. Here’s the fact-based observation:
Observation:
“You arrived at 12:20 PM, 20 minutes after our agreed meeting time.”
This is a clear, objective statement. It describes what happened without assigning meaning or intention.
Evaluations:
- “You clearly don’t respect my time.”
- This evaluation assumes intent, suggesting the person was deliberately inconsiderate or dismissive of your schedule. The reason behind their lateness isn’t known.
- “You must think your work is more important than mine.”
- This evaluation projects motive, implying that the person intentionally prioritized their work over your shared commitment. There’s no evidence this was their intention.
Why This Matters
While the observation remains unchanged and unarguable, the evaluations are subjective and likely to provoke defensiveness, escalating the conflict. By sticking to fact-based observations, you create a neutral starting point for constructive communication, reducing emotional triggers and fostering open dialogue.
Step 4: Using Emotions as Data
Emotions aren’t obstacles—they’re valuable data points signaling something important is happening. In the lunch scenario, frustration might indicate an unmet need for respect or consideration.
By identifying emotions early, you can express them constructively rather than letting them simmer and influence the conversation negatively. Leaders who recognize emotions as information can respond with greater self-awareness and avoid emotional outbursts that escalate conflict.
Step 5: Identifying the Internal Narrative (“The Story I Tell Myself”)
Our minds are wired to create stories that explain what’s happening around us. These stories help us make sense of the world—but they’re not always based on facts. Often, our emotional reactions come not from what happened but from the narrative we’ve created about the situation.
Let’s revisit the late lunch scenario. The fact-based observation is simple: “It’s 20 minutes after the agreed-upon meeting time, and my colleague hasn’t arrived.” That’s the only objective truth. But depending on personal context, energy levels, or past experiences, “the story you tell yourself” might look very different. Here are three possible internal narratives:
Scenario 1: Relief and Gratitude
Emotion: Ease and Gratitude
Imagine you’ve had a back-to-back schedule all day. You arrived at the restaurant, stressed and craving a few quiet moments. When your colleague arrives 20 minutes late, you feel relief because their delay gave you unexpected downtime.
Internal Narrative:
“I’m glad they were late—I finally had a moment to myself.”
Scenario 2: Worry and Anxiety
Emotion: Worry and Anxiety
On the way to lunch, you heard about a major traffic accident in the area that shut down several roads. When your colleague is late, your mind jumps to the worst-case scenario.
Internal Narrative:
“I hope they’re okay. What if they got into an accident?”
Scenario 3: Anger and Frustration
Emotion: Anger and Frustration
You’ve had a long week where deadlines were missed, meetings ran late, and you’ve felt disrespected by others. When your colleague walks in late without much of an apology, you feel annoyed and potentially angry.
Internal Narrative:
“They clearly don’t respect my time. They always think their schedule is more important than mine.”
Recognizing your internal narrative helps you respond thoughtfully instead of reacting based on assumptions. This awareness transforms reactive communication into intentional conversations grounded in empathy and facts.
These first steps of the Constructive Communication Framework provide the foundation for improving how leadership teams communicate and build trust. By understanding communication styles, focusing on fact-based observations, and recognizing the stories we tell ourselves, leaders can better navigate challenging conversations and reduce unnecessary conflict.
In the next article, we’ll dive deeper into applying the framework, including identifying universal needs, making clear requests, and practicing empathy in real-world situations. Stay tuned for actionable strategies to take your team communication to the next level.
